Let me ask some challenging and highly generalized statements for a moment without qualifying them and then qualify them a bit later.

I love small groups.

I hate small groups.

I think small groups are hurting the discipleship efforts of the church.

I think participation in small groups hasn’t really changed much in the church.

I think that small groups may be just good enough to be truly damaging to our ultimate goals in the church.

I have loved being a part of small groups for the past 17 years.

I don’t think that I will ever be part of a small group again.

So why the manifesto on the evils (hyperbole used here) of small groups? I have spent a great amount of energy and time over the past 17 years leading, writing curriculum for, participating in, promoting, training leaders for, and helping to plug others into small groups. I have worked full time for a small group curriculum/training ministry, I have overseen small groups as a pastor, I have trained youth and adults in how to lead small groups, and I have led so many small groups I can’t even remember them all.

The good of all this time in small groups is that it has given me an opportunity to build relationships with others, to teach them the Bible, and to help promote their spiritual development. I have seen good fruit born out of small groups and have felt good about their impact for most of the past 17 years. I have seen people grow in small groups, I have seen lives transformed and I have seen the Spirit of God at work within in them.

What I have also seen is this – most small groups fail to accomplish our mission of making disciples. They especially fail in making disciples that make other disciples. I have spent years with some people in small groups and poured through scripture with them, prayed together, shared laughter and seen absolutely no impact on their life. I have seen small groups become exclusive unbreakable clubs that create an inward focus for the participants that rob them of their passion of mission and exclude others who may want to participate. I have fought the fight for many years to get more men involved in small groups and seniors. I have mainly lost this fight.

So now, as we work through a very different approach to small groups, led by our friends at 3DM, I am beginning to understand more and more why these groups have not born the type of fruit that the huge investment of time and resources would indicate they should have. The main issues I have diagnosed have been far too little commitment from the participants. Ineffective training of leaders, curriculum that allowed you to keep it at arms length so that you can participate in a discussion or study without it ever changing you, and imbalance between the seeking of knowledge, worship and carrying out mission together.

Small groups as we mostly know them in the church, aren’t deep enough, challenging enough, missionally minded enough, or led well enough to truly make disciples that can make other disciples.

So now for a disclaimer or two. I am not against small groups. They have functions that are important. Some small groups have obviously been led well enough to see real change and transformation. The community side of many small groups is probably their best outcome and this is not to be underestimated. But even with all of those disclaimers, I am standing by my statements.

Small groups (and don’t even get me started on Sunday School) are not the answer to the discipleship crisis we face in the North American Church.

So what kind of images and metaphors would Jesus use if he were teaching our people? That is a question I have tried to use in my sermon preparation for some time. So periodically I want to share some of the metaphors I have found to be helpful for connecting people with the truth of God. Ours is not an agrarian culture, so my search for helpful metaphors has found itself mostly rooted within technology. Here is the first one.

The Holy Spirit is a spiritual internet

The internet has reshaped our world. Its power is rooted in the ability for us to be continually connected to people all over the world. This has allowed for immediate communication, access to vast amounts of information, an array of entertainment possibilities, and a force of commerce that has reshaped the global economy. But have you ever been to the internet? Do you vacation there? Where is it?

That is part of the mystery of the whole thing. It is all around us. We can be connected to it almost anywhere we go. There are people all around us tapped into it, but you can’t see it or go there. The Holy Spirit is a spiritual internet. It is the power to have full access to God at all times, in all places. Thankfully this connection to God isn’t based on the devices we carry or being somewhere with a strong signal. Instead it is all about our hearts being open enough to realize the connection that is available to us at all times through the presence of the Spirit in our lives. Being connected to God through the Spirit opens us up to the power of God, the revelation of God, and the will of God.

One of the greatest tragedies of our lives is our inability to take advantage of an on all the time connection to the God who created us. We rob ourselves of so much blessing by ignoring this connection or simply not tapping into it often enough. God is always present. God is always available. God is waiting on us. And he has given us all we need to know him and live a life that honors him through the power of his Holy Spirit.

 

 

 

 

However, the problem with celebrity comes when we ignore the difference between being famous and being significant. If Jesus was famous, it’s because he was doing something significant. The problem in the church is that many pastors make decisions, develop personas, and define success from the lens of what will make them a famous celebrity. (Often they don’t even realize they are doing this.)

In American church culture, it’s pretty easy to become a celebrity. You just have to grow a huge church. Now all in all, it’s not terribly difficult to grow to be a giant church if you have the right tools at your disposal. But that doesn’t mean the ends justify the means of getting there. Although Jesus was a celebrity in his day, he was willing to say things that ran people off in droves. In fact, the gospel of Mark (from the middle to the end of the book) chronicles the way that people kept leaving Jesus to the point where, by the end, virtually no one was left. No one wanted to be associated with him for fear of the consequences. Being willing to say things that run people off is not something we see too often in American churches in our day.

I suspect that’s because deeply imbedded in the American psyche is the desire to be a celebrity. American pastors are very susceptible to this. Many subtle things happen with people who desire this kind of celebrity status. They can disengage community and isolate themselves, setting themselves up for moral failure. They can make decisions that are numbers driven and not always Kingdom driven. They can skew to a shallow understanding of the Gospel as opposed to a holistic one that leads people to discipleship. They can put the good of their church (their personal Kingdom) over the good of God’s Kingdom.

Think about the culture you are shaping as a leader. In what ways are your decisions influenced by a subtle undercurrent of a hope for celebrity status?

Breen, Mike (2012-05-10). Multiplying Missional Leaders (Kindle Locations 942-958).  . Kindle Edition.

That last line is the one that has gotten my attention. In what ways are your decisions influenced by a subtle undercurrent of a hope for celebrity status? I have had to ask myself that questions (or variations of it) numerous times over the years. I wish I didn’t care about being recognized. I wish that when my friends are recognized for their work and asked to write and speak at conferences it didn’t make a mostly dormant part of my soul light up with a bit of jealousy. I wish that the success of other pastors was simply and always a source of celebration for me. Instead I confess that I can feel the burden of comparison between myself and other pastors instead of the joy of celebrating what my brother or sister is doing in the name of God.

When I began blogging there was no question that it was with mixed motives. I wanted to write and wanted an outlet for my thoughts and questions. But I also new that this was a platform to get my name out there. That somehow this would offer opportunities to go further. Thankfully, 6 years and over 850 posts later, most of that is long gone. Instead it has simply become a tool to bless, a way to grow in my writing, and a way to receive input from others. I stopped caring a long time ago about how many people actually read what I write or being known because of it.

But I am guessing that I am not the only pastor facing these temptations and struggles. As a matter of fact I think I am probably the norm. The celebrity culture of our country and it infiltration into the church has affected most of us i would imagine. Some of the effects are subtle undercurrents and attitudes we might not even recognize. Other effects are pretty clear and transparent. Take time to go to a Christian bookstore. See how apparent the celebrity culture is. How many of the books have a large picture of the author on the front cover? How many Christian leaders can you find with massive sections devoted to everything they have ever published?

I am convinced that so long as I am distracted by a nagging sense of competition or comparison with other churches and pastors I will be distracted from the true enemy of the church. So long as I care about the recognition I receive I will be tempted to make choices in ministry that have my goals in mind instead of God’s. This is a humbling word for me, and I am sure for others.

Father, may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven and may you begin within my life and my heart. Grant me the humility to submit all of my plans to you. Grant me the courage to turn aside easy notoriety for the greater payout of seeing the harvest of your kingdom. Strip me of my attachment to the world and all the ways these attachments shape my identity. May I find my worth solely in your great love for me Father. Amen.

Basically, what Doug proposes is that the culture of preaching (or as he calls it speaching) we have created in the church is ineffective, in some ways harmful, and is strangely disconnected from our people and the way we live our lives. Instead he proposes that we engage in what he calls progressional dialogue. This is marked by an interactive preparation and delivery that allows the wider community of the church to participate in, shape, and be shaped more effectively by the proclamation of God’s word.

As I have wrestled with this book I have come up with several questions that are poking at my spirit.

• How much do I allow others into the formation of a sermon and how do I encourage other voices to be heard in proclamation?
• Does the act of preaching stand in sharp contrast with the way we believe spiritual transformation best takes place?
• Do I control the worship service, sermon, and the direction of God’s Word in a way that not only removes other voices that should be heard but also limits the work of the Holy Spirit?
• How do you reshape a culture within a church to bring the community more fully into this process

Here is the thing about the way I preach. I like it. I am good at it. Other people like it and affirm me in it. But, none of those things in and of themselves make the way I preach the best way to preach. I have always worked hard to make my preaching a conversational style, to make it relevant, to make it captivating, and to deliver sermons in such a way as to make me more approachable. But, this style still elevates me, as the preacher/pastor, to a place of elevation in the congregation. Most of the congregation are simply recipients of the sermon. They do not help shape it, they do not prepare for it, and they do not get to add their voice to it.

Over the years I have tried to change that a bit, especially through social media, to encourage others to add their voice to the sermon preparation process, but it has been largely unsuccessful. I loved preaching in a community of preachers where we shaped worship together, but that really isn’t any different either. It is still just the clergy shaping the preaching experience. Well there are so many questions about this that I will continue to wrestle with, but I think that Doug is clearly on to something. If we are to overcome what Mike Breen calls Spiritual Feudalism within our churches, the proclamation of God’s word and the worship experience in total has to move from a group of elite performers with a captive audience to a vibrant participation in worship. I am still not sure what this would look like at DCC in the end, but I am very challenged by the idea.

Thoughts?

At least three climbers have died and two more are missing after summiting Mt. Everes

Some circumstances are so dangerous and make life so unsustainable that the conclusion of living within these circumstances seems a foregone conclusion. The only real question is can you escape before you die and what will it cost you to live in the death zone?

Many of our lives cross over into the death zone when they get dangerously unbalanced and unhealthy. For some of this the death zone is a physical reality. We have become so physically unhealthy, with what we consume, with our addictions to unhealthy food, with excess weight, and with high blood pressure etc., that the question isn’t whether or not we are killing ourselves, it is just how long until the end. For some of us the death zone is an unsustainable pace of life. Our jobs and commitments are so demanding that we can’t possibly be healthy. Like the oxygen starved air atop Everest, this pace is Spirit deprived and allows no room for God to talk to us. Our souls begin to die and are damaged by our lack of awareness and experience of God’s presence.

I keep thinking about pastors who are in charge of huge churches with massive budgets, tons of programs, large staffs and unbelievable amounts of stress and time commitments. Being the pastor of a megachurch sounds like a death zone job. Some can handle it, because they pack enough oxygen and have great Sherpas, but haven’t we lost enough men of God this way to recognize the unsustainable nature of this task for most people?

For some of us our marriages are the death zone. Starved of affection, quality time, spiritual intimacy, effective communication and a desire to serve one another, our marriages are suffocating and slowly dying. Some of them die out right and end, others die slowly and linger around lifelessly for decades. Regardless, they enter the death zone and the seldom come back out.

The hope we have as Christians, however, is that we worship a God who specializes in resurrection. He is not only big enough to resuscitate that which the death zone has injured, he has conquered death itself. So even when we have a part of our life in the death zone we believe that God can heal us with his breath of life. God can breath life into our marriages once again, no matter how dead they are. God can rescue us and repair the damage an unhealthy life style has brought upon us. Even if our bodies deteriorate God can heal our spirits and has promised us bodily resurrection in the life to come.

The people who have died on Everest have died willingly. They have put themselves intentionally into the death zone out of a passion to achieve the summit. Too often we do the same thing. Our hunger for something has driven us to an unsustainable place and it is killing us. I pray we hear the voice of God in that place and turn back that God might heal us and teach us a better way.

At first, I must admit, I wasn’t that excited about you. You felt to me like an arranged marriage. I knew that I needed you and that you were a good companion to have, but frankly you didn’t set my heart on fire. You were as average as average could be. You were vanilla to the extreme and my youthful tastes tended towards chocolate peanut butter cup. So with thankfulness but not much enthusiasm we began our life together.

Over time, however, my appreciation for you grew and grew until it was a well rounded and abiding love. You had so many qualities that I undervalued at the beginning and have grown to value far more than the passions of another day. You weren’t sexy, but you were faithful. You didn’t inspire passion but you were always there when I needed you. You didn’t serve as a muse that would inspire songs to be written about you, but you never failed me when I needed you.

You came with me to visit the sick and the dying. You carried me to bring forth message of hope to people who needed to hear. You came with me across the country, back across the country and half way back again and you did it joyfully. You came with me through school, my first full time jobs, interviews, and countless moments of serving others. You carried me to step into the midst of tragedy and to experience great joy. You have been there all the time.

But now the years have taken their toll. You simply aren’t the companion you once were. Your looks have suffered ill effects from the ravages of time and hard work. There are wrinkles where there didn’t use to be. You make noises that are unpleasant to us all. The faithfulness that has marked our relationship these 14 years has slipped and, well the writing is on the wall. It is time to put you down. It is time to stop exhausting my resources just to keep you alive. It is time for another companion.

I am so sorry my friend that we have reached this day so soon. I had such dreams of us riding into the sunset together for many more years, but our dreams don’t dictate the time we get with those we love. We have to simply learn to appreciate them as we have them. I have a new companion. I am not going to lie, she is younger, much younger. She is sexier. She can do things you have never been able to dream about doing. She is an upgrade, not a trophy wife sized upgrade, but a substantial one.

But I chose her not for the bells and whistles, those are great don’t get me wrong, but because she has so many of the same qualities that you have. She seems to be reliable, safe, and worthy of long term companionship. Without you we don’t get to this moment. Your faithfulness will never be forgotten. In fact I wish I could immortalize it with a poem or a song to reflect my love for you.

But our time has come, Ghetto Honda, and now a new chapter begins. To quote a great man who was talking to his car at their parting, “We’ve been through some things together, with trunks of memories still to come. We found things to do in stormy weather. Long may you run…”

Mike Breen’s new book is called Multiplying Missional Leaders. I just grabbed an e-copy and I am sure that there will be blog posts to follow as I read over it. But one thing that Mike and the 3DM crew have shaped my thinking on this past year is the idea of leaders vs. volunteers. The difference is really significant.

A volunteer is someone who gives their time to fulfill a specific role that supports the larger work of the church. This role has been shaped for them by someone else and their vision. In many churches there is a singular vision, cast from the senior leader, the truly shapes all volunteer positions. Every church needs volunteers. Someone needs to help clean, to greet, to usher, to sing, to teach classes, to help set up, to help tear down, to run the sound board and a host of other activities. These roles are vital and necessary. But, they can be limited in their impact on the individual.

In a volunteer role your task is handed to you. Success is simply defined by your completion of the task. They are sometimes roles that push us out of our comfort zone, but usually we volunteer in an area we are interested or already willing to serve. Most churches have systems in place to produce volunteerism among their congregants. This is very different than leadership development.

Leaders have very different tasks than volunteers. Leaders shape vision. Leaders recruit others to their vision. Leaders are forced to step outside their comfort zones into the unknown. This is where faith is stretched, the Holy Spirit empowers us and lives are reshaped. Very few churches have an effective process to produce leaders.

Our partnership with 3DM has radically changed the leadership pipeline of our church. For one, we actually have one now. The discipleship process we have in place is already paying huge dividends for us in our ability to grow leaders. Two years from now the culture of leadership development will be light years ahead of where it was when we began.

We still need volunteers, but for the first time as a pastor I can say that we are truly growing leaders in an intentional and reproducible way.  So what about you? Are you recruiting volunteers or are you developing leaders?

Your post covers good ground, but leaves unsaid where you stand. One potentially isolated and confused group you don’t address are Nazarene teens and preteens. While I 100% agree that our tone should be gracious in all settings, are you saying Christians can’t make clear public statements opposing same-sex marriage for fear of damaging the psyche of teens who self-identify as gay? This leaves our own kids without much cover in the sea of cultural relativity. As the first part of your post states: bedrock is bedrock. I think we do need to take a public but loving stance on this. My own daughters have faced some ridicule for stating their views in class. They’ve most often been in the minority and have felt attacked when they were simply stating that it’s too simplistic to say that there are no victims in a polygamous culture, for example. My girls have not taken aggressive stances and have some gay friends, with whom they are honest about their views, but still loving. The harshest treatment has been from more liberal-minded heterosexuals who want to control how everyone else thinks. It has caused some pain.

My friend is right, there is more to be said, especially to Christians who are actively trying to live out the radical optimism of the gospel in a gracious and welcoming manner. For many Christians this debate has been a source of pain for them because they are trying to do the work of God. This is especially true among the younger generations where the acceptance of homosexuality is far more prevalent than in the older generations. Here any view that does not fully embrace an individual’s sexual choices as acceptable is considered intolerant and hateful. The irony being that those who preach tolerance are often horribly intolerant of those who disagree with them.

Let’s not pretend that there are easily defined sides of right and wrong in this debate. That is not to say that there isn’t a truth about this issue. It just means that all sides of the debate are filled with broken people who do hurtful things. In my last post I expressed concern about how a negative social environment impacts homosexual teens and young adults in profound ways. Well the other side of that is the environment many Christians teens face on the other side where holding to a belief that homosexuality isn’t part of God’s plan for holy living is met with an oppressive derision and intolerance. It is simply reality that people who are holding to truth on both sides of this issue, be it in their desire for justice and grace or holding onto the standards God puts forth for holy living, behave in ways that undermine their beliefs.

For Christians this too often shows itself in behavior that is un-Christ like. We proclaim the truth of God in a manner unbefitting the children of God. On the other side, great proponents of justice and tolerance act in very intolerant ways to people with a different view point to their own. All of these acts of hypocrisy have made this debate contentious and damaging to many.

I have stated clearly my beliefs on a number of occasions. I can find no argument from scripture nor any witness within the Spirit that living out a homosexual lifestyle can be consistent with the call of God to holiness. But, this issue has become far too large of an issue. I don’t fear same sex marriage because I believe that its effects on marriage are minimal at best. Marriage is already under attack in our culture and it has nothing to do with same sex marriage. The failure of marriage in this country has to do with an ill formed understanding of the purpose of marriage and misshaped individuals who get married for primarily selfish reasons. I do see issues of injustice in our country regarding the homosexual community. My heart breaks for those who have suffered at the hands of others because of their sexual orientation.

I have gay and lesbian friends. I have gays and lesbians as part of my church. I have had very good relationship with gays and lesbians who have been my neighbors. This shouldn’t be a remarkable or difficult thing. But behaviors on both sides of the debate have made it a very difficult thing for so many. But, I have no doubt that if Jesus were walking the earth today, he would undoubtedly spend time with those in this marginalized part of society.

An issue with this much emotion attached to it simply requires a huge does of God’s grace to help us navigate the conversations and think about our actions and how they affect others. There are huge group of Christians in our country who are trying to do exactly this. In all the debates within our media let us not lose sight of this group and the difficulties they are facing as well.

When it comes to the President, I am confused by decision this week in numerous ways. In the last campaign he famously said, at Saddleback Church, that marriage was only between a man and a woman. Since then he has talked about his stance evolving and how he was thinking through the issue. His stance was changed, he said in his interview, through the changing climate around same sex marriage in our country. The younger generation is far more accepting of this idea and doesn’t question whether or not same sex couples should have equal rights. This was evidently very influential on the President.

Obama’s story is probably a lot like many American’s story on this issue. As soon as it became personalized and became a question of people you know and their rights it became a different issue altogether. What is confusing about the President’s stance, however, is why he made it now and what has caused his evolution.My confusion isn’t about why he believes what he believes, I have many friends on both sides of this issue, my confusion is to the why and the how. Should the changing beliefs of a new generation shift your own beliefs? Should an idea gaining popularity make it more convincing? Well if you are a politician maybe so. But when we are talking about issues of morality and justice they should be bedrocks, foundational beliefs that we hold onto despite the ever shifting opinions of our culture. It will be interesting to see if the President makes his view on this matter one that is tied to a bedrock belief that he has now newly discovered or rather if it just seems practical and politically astute.

The timing of his announcement is also rather unusual. This will galvanize some of his supporters, is fuel for most of his critics and will probably cost him some supporters. Politically I am sure he was under immense pressure from a number of donors to come out with a pro same sex marriage stance. The effects of this announcement on his presidential reelection bid are far from clear, however. This could cost Obama the election, or it could be a minor ripple. What a gamble at a time when the economy, the war, and so many other issues are making the political waters rough sailing.

In NC a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage passed overwhelmingly on Tuesday. I still have a ton of friends in NC, almost all of them congregated in the Research Triangle (near Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill) and almost to a person they were opposed to this amendment. Obviously the Triangle is not representative of the rest of the state. Opponents of this amendment cited that it could actually have effects on others beside same sex partners and that it was simply a poorly constructed law. Others in favor of it, including many church leaders and even Billy Graham, praised it as an action to protect the sanctity of marriage.

I didn’t have a vote in the state of NC, but if I did I would have voted against the amendment for no other reason than because it was poorly written and potentially very harmful. The issue wasn’t even about same sex marriage, it just seems like a unnecessary and harmful action. I am especially concerned about the harmful effect that these campaigns have against our brothers and sisters in the homosexual community. There are some very disturbing studies showing the effects a negative social environment has on this community, especially among teenagers. I seldom here Christians really talk about the effects of our campaigns and policies on the individual lives of those affected by them. This is a gross oversight on our part.

At the heart of this issue for us as the church is how we are to best go about our mission of making disciples of the nations. Included in this mission is the very community so many of us are campaigning against. Even if we don’t believe in same sex marriage, how are we supposed to build in roads into the lives of our friends, neighbors, family members and fellow human beings who have a homosexual orientation when we are contributing to such a hostile environment? Where is the balance between grace and truth?

If we are going to fulfill the mission of Christ we must follow the example of Christ. Jesus was able to at the same time hold onto God’s standards of truth and holiness while embracing those who were far from God. He shared his dinner table with them. He literally touched the untouchable. Jesus welcomed into his life those whom society had shunned and made laws to isolate and dehumanize. In the midst of all these debates on policies, laws and amendments we can’t lose sight of this being our primary action to make the truth of God known. We should care about the laws of our land. We should fight for justice. We should fight for morality. But, we should first and foremost love all people with the radical grace of God and allow our holy lives of welcoming hospitality and gracious acceptance shine the light of God into the darkness of this world.

In a season of great unrest and anger in our culture, may our lives of intentionally peaceful and gracious love of all people offer a compelling alternative to the broken discourse and pain of our culture.

Knowing at leas a little bit about both of these churches I was very impressed by how accurate both of those statements were. In a couple of times worshiping there he had identified some major characteristics of each church and their culture. So if someone walked into your church today what would they notice about your culture? Here are some questions I think about when I think about the culture we want to create at DCC.

• How are people greeted? Are they noticed when they walk in? Does anyone act like it is important that they are there?
• Is grace celebrated and offered during our worship services? Can people leave there with hope?
• Do people seem excited to be there? Does it feel like a chore or like joy to be gathered together?
• What do we celebrate? Are we celebrating numbers, money, programs? Are we celebrating stories of transformation? Are we celebrating people?
• Are people being challenged? Is there an opportunity to reimagine their life while they are there?
• Can you feel the presence of God? Is there room for the Holy Spirit to show up and do what the Spirit wants?
• Does it feel real? Do our interactions feel authentic and warm or forced and temporary?
• Did those who were leading the worship service display excellence? Was what we were doing important enough to be prepared and to do it with the best of who we are?

Those are some of the questions I ask about our worship gatherings and the language we use as a church. What other questions are important to ask about our cultures? What will people notice about your culture when they encounter it for the first time?