Why are Father’s Day and Mother’s Day so different? (Insert easy joke here, every day is Father’s day, mothers deserve three days to every one for a father, father’s day should only happen on leap year to make things even out, choose one or make your own)
How do I know they are different? For three straight years a as youth pastor I scheduled our mission trip to leave on Father’s Day without realizing it. This is significant because – 1) I was a father at the time and 2) no one threw a big fit about it. If I scheduled a missions trip over Mother’s Day (ignoring obvious calendar issues between May and June) I would have had zero kids sign up and I would have been informed that this mission trip was probably my last. This message would have been delivered by – 1) my wife, 2) my mom, 3) every mom in the youth group.
I had to chuckle yesterday because the first 4-5 dads I encountered were all grumpy. I said, “Hey, how are you?’ Their response, ” I’m here” or some variation of that theme. On Mother’s Day every mom walks into church with a full entourage escorting her as if she is a queen. On Father’s Day people are off camping, golfing, or hitting the beach. So why are they so different?
(Understand I am not complaining about or being negative about my own Father’s Day. I am unbelievably loved by my family and I feel very appreciated. Father’s Day was nicely acknowledged in my house and I appreciated it.)
Father’s Day seems to have a secondary importance to Mother’s Day in a number of ways. Here are my theories why and/or facetious observations…
- Father’s Day Celebrations are always somewhat muted by the feeling all kids/moms have that they love dad, but we aren’t sure he s quite as awesome as mom.
- Many dads choose to spread out their celebration year round with a weekly fathers day playing golf, hiding in the garage or simply disappearing for a bit of time.
- Dads are concerned that if they ask for too much of a celebration on Father’s Day they will forfeit their rights to ask for other things later on. They save their spending allowance for other things, like NFL Sunday Ticket. (It is worth it Gretchen, I promise you, it is worth it!)
- Father’s Day ( a Hallmark creation I am sure of it) has been purposefully planned for a high traffic season where school is getting out and vacations are being planned so as to minimize its impact.
- Being a mom is quite often a thankless job. We go crazy on Mother’s Day because we fell guilty for ignoring her so much of the other time. Dad, well we think we probably appreciate him just enough.
Those are my random thoughts from Father’s Day 2012, any to add?
June 21, 2012 at 11:08 am
In the marketing of the two ‘holidays’, Mother’s Day seems to be a lot more about expressing love to a loving mother, but Father’s Day is about acknowling a father’s manly hobbies, like sports and power tools. It’s easy to go all out in expressing love to moms, but acknowledging Dad’s love for golf can only go so far; a new set of tees, a tie with golf clubs on it, or a pass to go play for the day. It’s not as relational of a ‘holiday’.
June 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Yeah it is a strange dichotomy between the two. One is about showing mom how much she means. The other is almost like an extra birthday. Let’s give you stuff you like for the things you care about.