Mondays are for New Years Ramblings

Time to hit the ground running fast and furious today. Here are my predictions and thoughts for 2010.

(These are almost all guaranteed to be wrong, but it is worth a shot. You know how Paul in his letters would sometimes say, now this is a word from me, God didn’t tell me this, well have no doubts that none of these are prophesies, just my own efforts. When I get some prophesies I promise I will tell you up front in that blog post. Is it okay to blog prophesies? Will some of my charismatic friends help me out with this one. I am not sure the proper prophesy vehicles. I am really rambling now..)

DC Sports Predictions

Jim Zorn gets fired. (He was fired early this morning so that one may not count, but I wanted to start off strong)

Mike Shanahan becomes the Redskins new coach.

Jason Campbell gets that same pardon that Zorn got and gets to leave the insanity of Redskins Park. Thanks Jason you and Zorn were two of the classiest people in the organization, not that I am saying much with that.

Mike Shanahan and Colt McCoy (with random serviceable veteran QB  to guide the ship initially, perhaps Collins, maybe random dud Shanny likes) lead the Redskins to an 8-8 record and there is much rejoicing.

Ted Leonsis blows up the Wizards. (Maybe not the best imagery for the team from the OK Corral, but it is accurate) No one will take Arenas so it is going to cost us Antawn for cap space and cutting some guys to begin to get back to respectability.

Random World Predictions

Now that everyone who had any delusions of a messiah is over them, President Obama will settle down and have a much better year. I have no idea how it will be better, but being President is a job that someone as bright at him should certainly get better at as they go. We seldom account for a presidential learning curve in our evaluations. Even Bush started to figure things out eventually.

China is going to move further down the road towards becoming the dominant economic force in the world. Soon our banks will be bailed out by the Chinese government. I am sure China has always wanted to own Ford anyways.

By the end of 2010 we will be x-ray’d, MRI’d and had a holographic 3D rendering of our entire body done, have a blood sample taken and our DNA checked before we can board that flight from Cleveland to Minneapolis. I am ok with this.

Twitter will  be replaced by an even smaller blogging program called ABC where you will sign up for a service where people will simply post a word and then you add the next word and suddenly millions of people are adding the next words in what will become an incredible story of absolutely nothing that any relevance to anyone. People will start looking for the hidden meanings of these poetic narratives and hailing them as a wonderful new entry into the world of art. As a result those under 20 will actually forget how to answer a question that requires more than one word. This phenomenon will change the course of humanity forever……!

A year from now as we watch Tiger and his new girlfriend who is wholesome and saving herself for marriage play with his kids when he has them for the weekend for their People magazine photo shoot we will be amazed at his transformation.

Lebron James, the new king of NY, will eclipse as the world’s richest athlete. Of course the Knicks will have to actually give him the ownership of the franchise for him to come and play with them, but it will be worth it.

A sizable shift in the church (at least the fundamentalist evangelical wing of it) will take place as everyone who has spent copious amounts of time attacking with ferocity the leaders of the emerging church will realize that no one cares and that while they have been picking apart the comments of three or four individuals, all around the world across vastly different cultures God has been birthing a revitalization of his church and somehow they missed it.

Bono will be elected Secretary General of the UN. Immediately all UN representatives will be issued sunglasses that they can wear at all times and have their names shortened to one word.

I will end the year weighing less than I have since I was 19. (This is a statement that will be true, I am working hard)

Holiness Reeducation will be turned into a self published book that my mom and four Latvians will buy numerous copies off.