Well I am blessed to be a pastor’s wife and also a pastor. I will say that my primarily role was more active in the beginning of our ministry than the latter. I treasure in not simply being the wife of a pastor but a pastor’s wife.

I understand that I am immportant to my husband’s ministry. As unity exists in the Godhead body so it should in the union of marriage which is the greatest ministry on earth. It took me awhile to fall into my purpose and to govern myself alongside my husband, who’s ministry could only get better if I align myself with him.

I purposed that I would be wahtever he needed me to be. We have had a shift within our congregation from time to time. People who said that they were on board, left. If my husband had them to rely on , then his ministry would have fell a long time ago. I came to the realization that God had called me first to be his helpmate and his support. He gave us together, dominion and authority. That agenda hasn’t changed because the first creation fell.

So I prayed and asked God to help me be the women He created me to be . So I started to pray more for my husband. I was his secretary, his armorbearer, his prayer intercessor, his encourager, his shoulder, his manager, his partner. I stayed in deep realms of prayer when spiritual warfare was at hand. I showed up to church when everybody else decided to stay because of “something more important” than God. If had noone else to preach to — he could find me there.

By me staying in position for my husband, God began to elevate me. He birthed in me ministries that noe my husband is to me what I have been for me. He is my covering, my teacher and my greatest supporter.

My role became clear when God was defining it and I was able to leave the feminist attitudes and the “I’m my own person ” thoughts behind. I made up in my mind to labor alongside my “head”. Labor in the good and bad days and wait for the manifestation of God to occur in our lives and ministry.

I am grateful for my ministry of sarahs W.O.M.B. where God is allowing me to reach wome to help them walk in destiny because we do have one.

the most beautiful part is that of a helpmate and encourager to justin. i stand faithfully by his side
and pray for him without ceasing. i may not always know or understand what he faces in the day, but, i want him to know that when he walks through the door at the end of the day- he is safe.

when we got married, i thought that i was marrying a future doctor, but God had different plans for us. once, i submitted to His will and to justin, i was able to look back at the road that i had been on and see God’s mighty hand in preparing me for this role as a pastors wife.

all the ministries and activities that are at church are an added blessing, but my main focus is that of a quiet and gentle spirit. i want to leave that legacy to my daughters. one that is rooted in Proverbs 31. although, there are days and nights that justin is required to be away from us, i know in my heart that he is busy about the Lord’s work and there is no other place i’d rather him be.

so, in the midst of the loneliness and unrealistic expectations that are placed on me, i find rest in Him. i know that God has me right where He wants me, and i look forward with anticipation to where He might lead….

I must say that you are in a tough spot. In many ways Gretchen and I were too young (19-20) when we started dating to really get all that this role would require. Ten years later I can say that neither of us could have predicted how hard it has been, but God has certainly be gracious to us.

The key for you will be not looking for a pastor’s wife. Whoever you marry will obviously need to be on board, but whoever God has out there for you will be someone who will love you for who you are, and that includes being a pastor.

Being a single male in seminary, I am aware that whomever I date will have the pressure of the pastor’s wife in some regards, especially if I seek appointment as a student pastor (which I intend to do). She didn’t know me prior to accepting this calling/vocation for my life, so she comes in knowing there is somewhat of a public nature to the relationship, which is sad but true. How do I balance getting to know someone and the public nature of our lives – in some regards?

As I consider getting married again, this is something that I am really concerned about, because I don’t want her to be involved in ways she doesn’t want to be. I want her to be her own person and serve in whatever ways she desires.