Strangest Stories in the Bible

In my conversations with some friends lately, we have been discussing some of the really strange stories in the Bible. The Bible is full of stories that seem to make absolutely no sense, at least at first glance. And then when you give them a second glance, you get even more confused. Take for instance one of my all time favorites, Elishah and the Bears. It sounds almost like a nursery doesn’t it? Here is the narrative.

2 Kings 2:23-25

23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. “Go on up, you baldhead!” they said. “Go on up, you baldhead!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

So Elisha is taunted by a group of kids and he calls out two bears to maul them. Whoa!

Or how about this happy little story from Judges 11.

At that time the Spirit of the LORD came upon Jephthah, and he went throughout the land of Gilead and Manasseh, including Mizpah in Gilead, and led an army against the Ammonites.  And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD. He said, “If you give me victory over the Ammonites, I will give to the LORD the first thing coming out of my house to greet me when I return in triumph.  I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.”

“So Jephthah led his army against the Ammonites, and the LORD gave him victory.  He thoroughly defeated the Ammonites from Aroer to an area near Minnith – twenty towns – and as far away as Abel-keramim. Thus Israel subdued the Ammonites.  When Jephthah returned home to Mizpah, his daughter – his only child – ran out to meet him, playing on a tambourine and dancing for joy.  When he saw her, he tore his clothes in anguish.  “My daughter!” he cried out.  “My heart is breaking!  What a tragedy that you came out to greet me. For I have made a vow to the LORD and cannot take it back.”  And she said, “Father, you have made a promise to the LORD.  You must do to me what you have promised, for the LORD has given you a great victory over your enemies, the Ammonites.  But first let me go up and roam in the hills and weep with my friends for two months, because I will die a virgin.”  “You may go,” Jephthah said. And he let her go away for two months.  She and her friends went into the hills and wept because she would never have children.  When she returned home, her father kept his vow, and she died a virgin.  So it has become a custom in Israel for young Israelite women to go away for four days each year to lament the fate of Jephthah’s daughter.”

Those two are but a sampling of some of the really strange stories we find in the Bible. Here is a listing of my favorite strange stories. Feel free to add your own and vote for the strangest one.

In no particular order

Genesis 6 – Nephilim: The sons of God marrying the daughters of men, it is all strange

Judges 3 – Ehud the left handed assassin and the disappearing sword

Samuel 9-10 – They chose a king because he was tall and handsome? (Alright this one I get)

Genesis 9 – Daddy (Noah) drinks to much, gets naked and passes out, what are we to do

Nehemiah 13 – The Prophet is angry that the Israelites are marrying foreigners (again) so he beats them and pulls out their hair (ouch)

Acts 5 – Ananias and Sapphira cheat God and Peter puts them in a body bag (talk about effective ways to lead into an altar call)

Mark 16:9-20 (this may be extra-canonical anyways) This is where our snake handling, poison drinking brethren get their ideas

Joshua 5, 8 – The obliteration and apparent genocide of Jericho and Ai, these are hard stories

Those are my first 10 (including the one listed above) any ones you want to add? Which are the hardest to understand? Any interpretations of the ones above that you want to offer?

Enjoy-

Greg