Alright, for some reason the most popular blog in the history of this site was my ramblings and random thoughts about life. So I will give the people what they want….
I am still in a haze about the Lost season finale. Wow! The writers of that show are either a) the most creative and wonderful people on earth, the kind of people that the UN should honor in some creative way, I mean seriously they keep honoring Angelina Jolie, you can't tell me Tomb Raider did more for the world than Lost does.. b) the worst people on earth because they are setting us up for the most anti-climatic ending of all time. This could be worse than the idiots who made it so that an entire season on Dallas was just a dream, or the people who destroyed one of the great cult classics of all time, Highlander, by making Highlander 2: The Abomination. Please don't kill us by making this just a dream or some sort of hoax, or some Matrix like purgatory reality that these people are trapped in. You are better than that. (That was a little too much angst for a TV show wasn't it?)
I have had too much death around me this week, to many funerals. What do you say to someone about a funeral when they get back? Do you ask, "Was it a good funeral?" How do you answer that question?
Have you ever fell victim to Costcowalletreductionsyndrome? This is a terrible disease that you can acquire when you go to Costco for something simple like detergent and you leave with 10 Pounds of ground beef, 36 rolls of Toilet Paper you don't really like, 8 boxes of some frozen treat that sounded good at the time, 3 Polo shirts, 4 new tires, a box of razor blades that were a great deal but cost you $40, some Lobster, 6 steaks, a playground, an entertainment center and a vacation to Mexico. It is impossible to leave there getting only the things you went for. There must be some sort of mind control drug in those delectable samples they have everywhere. They should just say, "Would you like to try this cheesecake…. and take home a plasma?"
I have been debating the official food of summer. (Yes, these are the kinds of things I actually debate, with myself, yes I have problems, no I am not seeing professional help) I think corn on the cob is the winner. Corn on the cob never sounds good to me except between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Any other nominees?
I enjoy organic food. It is nice that the food has less chemicals in it and was grown by some farmer down the road who uses only fertilizer from his animals that he picked up with his own hands and personally smeared on the plants, but do I have to dress that way to eat it? You now the whole I am wearing expensive clothes but they look like they are from a thrift shop and you aren't sure if I have bathed recently look? Can't I wear The Gap and still benefit from the overpriced, over-hyped, benefits of organic eggs in the morning?
Is there a more awkward and unnecessary moment in any sporting event than the sideline interview with whatever celebrity is there? The celebrity may be a sports fan, but they don't necessarily know anything about sports. The cake was taken this week when during the Mavericks Suns basketball game they were interviewing David Hasselhoff. Oh, if only you could have seen David in his puffy shirt, unbuttoned to show off his legendary chest hair, wearing a silver cross and sun glasses inside, glory. It seems Dirk Nowitzki, the star of the Mavericks, who is from Germany, likes to single a Hasselhoff song when he is shooting free throws, so they made sure he was there to talk about Dirk's free throw shooting at the next game. David Hasselhoff, talking about free throw shooting, at an NBA game. I think we have moved beyond ridiculous and into surreality.
I get fired up about stupid things and yet I am very calm about very important topics and steady during crisis. What does this say about me?
I think that I would like to have some theme music for when I get up to preach. You know something to pump up the crowd before I get going. Kind of like on the WWE when the announcers are just talking and all of the sudden the music for some on comes on and the announcers scream, "My Gosh, I think, wait, yes, that's the Undertaker's music, and here he comes, the crowd is going wild!" Any suggestions for songs? When I was a kid I used to like the Road Warriors coming out to Iron Man by Black Sabbath. Or maybe I could go with something classy like the theme from the Godfather. I am open to your suggestions….
May 31, 2006 at 2:21 pm
If you have theme music, you need to add the smoke maching in too…
with lasers.
May 31, 2006 at 2:32 pm
OK, this is going to sound weird, but I have most of the WWE theme songs in my car including the latest CD that was released last week. I need a life. I’m thinking for you, Greg, the best theme would have to be “Burn into My Light.” The song is by Mercy Drive and is for Randy Orton. Or what about “The Game” by Motorhead for Triple H.
May 31, 2006 at 4:06 pm
I’ve thought heavily about a theme song..especially since they have them for relief pitchers now a la Wild Thing in “Major League”. If I were a good wrassler or reliever, I would come out to the Carpenters. I mean wouldn’t a beatdown be soooo much more poignant after a Carpenters song??? Sure I use wussy theme music, but you’re the one that just got flying burrito-ed! That would make the vitory much more earth-moving. Personally though, since I’m not a tough guy, I would have to emphasize my smoove flava and scroll out to Outkast “Fresh and Clean” or anything witht he word “Hustla” or “Hustlin’” in the chorus I’m a hustla’ baby! Or Err-day I’m hustlin’. Ya feel me? May I suggest the following:
James Brown: Payback
O Jays: For the Love of Money (it deosn’t get any better than that intro bassline)
Sugarloaf: Green Eyed Lady (something a lil different)
Grand Funk Railroad: We’re an American Band
Opening theme for S.W.A.T. the tv show
Anything by Onyx (I got hit by the lightening and the thundah)
Motorhead: Ace of Spades
Dr. Dre: Let me Ride
and Finally…anything off of Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys
May 31, 2006 at 4:18 pm
You need pregame fanfare-whistles blowing, big drums, lots of horns and maybe a drum major. That would work. OR maybe a fight song.
Shopping at Costco and eating organic food, I think, are in conflict with each other. I have a membership at Sam’s but don’t like it. It is definately not subversive.
Silver Queen corn is the best, but you have to wait soooo long. Maryland had the best corn-like on the roads leading to the coast. I miss the fruit farms in western NY. The summer produce in NC has been relatively disappointing. So, I’ll have to say the best food of summer has got to be bomb pops-the red, white and blue ones. I love those things. Cremesicles too. Deviled eggs are high on my summer food list too.
I think you can have a good funeral. I guess it depends on who died. We went to a funeral once for a friend from college who drowned while on vacation in the carribean. He hadn’t married, so his parents had a huge event for their dear, Jack. We toasted him, danced and drank way too much. It was good. He would have loved it. He was a nut.
I’m not sure about the stupid things/important things question. You puzzle me, my friend.
May 31, 2006 at 6:30 pm
“Maryland had the best corn”
????
I’m bringing corn back from Iowa now for everyone who is living with the “Maryland had the best corn” misconception.
May 31, 2006 at 7:01 pm
I smell a corn-on-the-cobb challenge. Iowa vs. Maryland. ACC vs. Big 10.
May 31, 2006 at 7:38 pm
Here’s our chance! Iowa and Maryland each need to pick entrance music for the Corncob Challenge! Dave and Maggie…pick your songs!
Sunday Sunday Sunday!
Christ Church presents…The Cornoff!
Traditional favorite Iowa wants to keep its title but super-modified Maryland wants to shuck it from him!
Whose corn will get creamed???
Find out Sunday Sunday Sunday!
You can buy the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge!!!
May 31, 2006 at 8:07 pm
Todd,
If you can’t find a job with the newly-minted MBA, there is hope for you as a ring announcer for Monster Jam or the WWE.
May 31, 2006 at 10:16 pm
Well it seems as if none of you have had corn from Minnesota…
seriously
May 31, 2006 at 11:43 pm
Okay. Iowa and Minnesota can’t touch corn on the cob, Maryland blue crabs and cold beer on a picnic table covered in brown paper. Now that’s summer eatin’!