Holiness Reeducation

Alright, for some reason the most popular blog in the history of this site was my ramblings and random thoughts about life. So I will give the people what they want….

I am still in a haze about the Lost season finale. Wow! The writers of that show are either a) the most creative and wonderful people on earth, the kind of people that the UN should honor in some creative way, I mean seriously they keep honoring Angelina Jolie, you can't tell me Tomb Raider did more for the world than Lost does.. b) the worst people on earth because they are setting us up for the most anti-climatic ending of all time. This could be worse than the idiots who made it so that an entire season on Dallas was just a dream, or the people who destroyed one of the great cult classics of all time, Highlander, by making Highlander 2: The Abomination. Please don't kill us by making this just a dream or some sort of hoax, or some Matrix like purgatory reality that these people are trapped in. You are better than that. (That was a little too much angst for a TV show wasn't it?)

I have had too much death around me this week, to many funerals. What do you say to someone about a funeral when they get back? Do you ask, "Was it a good funeral?" How do you answer that question?

Have you ever fell victim to Costcowalletreductionsyndrome? This is a terrible disease that you can acquire when you go to Costco for something simple like detergent and you leave with 10 Pounds of ground beef, 36 rolls of Toilet Paper you don't really like, 8 boxes of some frozen treat that sounded good at the time, 3 Polo shirts, 4 new tires, a box of razor blades that were a great deal but cost you $40, some Lobster, 6 steaks, a playground, an entertainment center and a vacation to Mexico. It is impossible to leave there getting only the things you went for. There must be some sort of mind control drug in those delectable samples they have everywhere. They should just say, "Would you like to try this cheesecake…. and take home a plasma?"

I have been debating the official food of summer. (Yes, these are the kinds of things I actually debate, with myself, yes I have problems, no I am not seeing professional help) I think corn on the cob is the winner. Corn on the cob never sounds good to me except between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Any other nominees?

I enjoy organic food. It is nice that the food has less chemicals in it and was grown by some farmer down the road who uses only fertilizer from his animals that he picked up with his own hands and personally smeared on the plants, but do I have to dress that way to eat it? You now the whole I am wearing expensive clothes but they look like they are from a thrift shop and you aren't sure if I have bathed recently look? Can't I wear The Gap and still benefit from the overpriced, over-hyped, benefits of organic eggs in the morning?

Is there a more awkward and unnecessary moment in any sporting event than the sideline interview with whatever celebrity is there? The celebrity may be a sports fan, but they don't necessarily know anything about sports. The cake was taken this week when during the Mavericks Suns basketball game they were interviewing David Hasselhoff. Oh, if only you could have seen David in his puffy shirt, unbuttoned to show off his legendary chest hair, wearing a silver cross and sun glasses inside, glory. It seems Dirk Nowitzki, the star of the Mavericks, who is from Germany, likes to single a Hasselhoff song when he is shooting free throws, so they made sure he was there to talk about Dirk's free throw shooting at the next game. David Hasselhoff, talking about free throw shooting, at an NBA game. I think we have moved beyond ridiculous and into surreality.

I get fired up about stupid things and yet I am very calm about very important topics and steady during crisis. What does this say about me?

I think that I would like to have some theme music for when I get up to preach. You know something to pump up the crowd before I get going. Kind of like on the WWE when the announcers are just talking and all of the sudden the music for some on comes on and the announcers scream, "My Gosh, I think, wait, yes, that's the Undertaker's music, and here he comes, the crowd is going wild!" Any suggestions for songs? When I was a kid I used to like the Road Warriors coming out to Iron Man by Black Sabbath. Or maybe I could go with something classy like the theme from the Godfather. I am open to your suggestions….